Happy New Year

Have a great New Year.

(as someone who has worked extensively in bars, I really shouldn’t find this funny, but I do. Sue me.)

New word

pro·cras·tur·bate
v. pro·cras·tur·bat·ed, pro·cras·tur·bat·ing, pro·cras·tur·bates
v. intr.

1. Spanking all your time away doing nothing constructive.
2. Postponing important jobs in favour of short term relief.

pro·crastur·bation n.
pro·crastur·bator n.

Maybe I should submit it to the Wiki ?

Do I need an extra 3″ ?

It’s a really tough decision. I’ve been thinking about doing it for a while now. I mean on the one hand, I can probably get away with not doing anything at all. Or I could just have a smaller one, or I could really go for it and go all out. But that extra 3″ costs an additional £300 over the standard price. It’s probably not something you want to skimp and save over, I mean, once you’ve got the extra, you’re going to be use it for quite some time to come, and really, you want to make the most of it, especially if you’re doing something really important, I mean you need to make the right impression, you want to do it properly and to the absolute best of your ability – but can I justify the £300 for an extra 3 inches? Or I should I just put up with what I’ve got and just carry on as I am now? I just can’t decide. I know I shouldn’t worry about size so much, I mean it’s really not how big it is, it’s what you do with it, I know that, but sometimes I just can’t help feeling that if I had that bit extra, then, well, things could just be so much better. I could keep going for so much longer without having to take a break. Everything would be clearer; more precise… clinical even. But then again, I don’t have many complaints right now, everything seems to work OK as it should and I could save the money for something much more vital.

It’s a tough decision.

Round up the paedophiles!

In response to a 6 year old girl getting abducted, the police’s solution? IT MUST BE THE PAEDOPHILES! In fairness, it quite easily could have been a paedopile that did this, seems like a reasonable place to start, but it’s more the way they’re going to “round them up” ~ like they’re a different race or something (which some people might legitimately argue is the case, but that’s really a different blog altogether).

Sometimes, though, the society we live in makes me really chuckle to myself – no, I’m not laughing at the abduction of a 6 year old girl who was found wandering naked down a street – that is frightening – but the fact that we claim to live in such a cultured, tolerant, non-segregated world where freedom of speech and freewill is number 1. Bollocks. As soon as something goes wrong, the “powers that be” are instantly looking to persecute the old faithful groups who are always doing something wrong… the paedophiles, the homosexuals, the Arabs, the Welsh… For whatever reason it just reminds me of what I’ve seen or read of older times, with mass witch hunts simply due to people’s insecurities and often, it seems, own guilt, since rather than own up to something, they’ll more likely blame it on the scapegoat. At this time of year it’s impossible not to think of the example of Jesus – came to earth, healed a bunch of people, a load of other people got suspicious, so killed him. The closedmindedness of the world we live in is shuddering.

What is the common way of dealing with it though? Don’t think about it, ignore it, and hopefully it will go away.

Civilised my nob.

P.S. I do hope they catch the sick fuck who abducted the girl, though.

Nearly that time of year again

When everyone makes a list of a bunch of stuff that they’re blatantly never going to do. “This year I am going to learn how to build hot air balloons”, or, “I’m going to swim across the English Channel. Underwater. Without an oxygen tank. Twice.”

I should make some resolutions. I should quit smoking, but we all know that’s not going to happen. So:

1. I’m going to stop buying all my clothes at Pound World
2. I will finish building the world’s biggest hole
3. I will reverse bungee off the Moon. Without the bungee.

Ooh. That was a bit serious Um. I might also finish this pesky PhD. And I will release a new website, and it will be the next big thing. Fo’ sho.

Awesome joke

I’m sorry, but this blonde joke had me giggling like a little schoolgirl.

Happy Christmas

To everyone… hope you have a fantastic day