What is it with the New Year? All of a sudden people start feeling really guilty about the way they live and think that January 1st signals the start of the ‘new them’. Everyone man and his monkey is going on a detox… my best mate, half my office is, Chris bloody Moyles is… stay off the booze, no fags, less (or no) caffeine, eat healthily, exercise more, for a week, two or even a month. And one of two things always happens:
1) they last approximately 20 minutes and are back in the pub by lunchtime.
2) they survive the ordeal, and make up for it by going on an enormous bender at 17:01 on the last day, completely reverse all the good work, and wake up feeling even worse than had they not bothered in the first place.
Either way you’re a loser, and it’s self-inflicted. Which is dumb.
My philosophy is one of a consistent, maintainable and regimented intake. I don’t like to trick my body by surprising it with unexpected binges or fasts. Admittedly I am a model of refined living, carefully monitoring my food and liquid consumption, banishing unhealthy habits and such like to a permananet Atkins misery.
Of course that IS utter bollocks, I drink, smoke, eat fried chicken and sit on my fat arse as much as possible. I’m very fulfilled.