Al and I were chatting last night about something fairly innocuous, but it got me to thinking. We started by talking about me accidentally “putting my foot in it” with one of the bar staff, making some fairly flippant but humourously intended comment, but of course events had occurred in her life recently that I had no idea about, and what I said was not quite so humourous. But then the mind wanders. You see news reports and stories and so on, reporting bizarre statistics that 18 people every year die of, I don’t know, “spoon-related” injuries. Or being hit by a golf ball. Or any other mysterious and uncommon way of dying. The point being, that you could quite happily be in the canteen/kitchen at work, as someone’s making a cuppa, you make a flippant comment about “hey hey hey, watch out with that spoon” chortle chortle, yet you have no idea that the person stood behind you was the wife of the man who was one of the 18 to die of spoon-related injuries. You see to the common person, that is, anyone who has not been affected by such circumstances, the perspective is not there. There is no frame of reference. It is nothing more than a story. But to each of the 18 people who suffered at the strong end of the spoon, it’s still death. They’re dead. Gone. And to the families of the 18 people, who have to bear the consequences of knowing their loved one died in such crap circumstances, to them it’s not just a story, it’s not a funny statistic – it’s real life. It’s death. It’s pain and heartache and sadness for God knows how long.
The point is – you never know who has been affected by any of the gagillion nasty things that happen in the world today. Take for example, this chick. I took offence at her post, because I actually have been to Tanzania. And yeh, shit happens, but then shit happens everywhere. Christ, she wants to talk about child-skinning in a 3rd world country, what about all the atrocities that happen in his country? But the irony and the point of this post, is that the other stories, she or anyone else rants about, with which I have no emotional attachment, cause me little or no harm. Sure, I can disagree with them. But I won’t really be affected by them.
You never know who or what may or may not be affected by something or anything. Seems pretty obvious to me, but I believe that’s why it’s often prudent to consider things carefully before saying them. But that’s often critical to the wishywashy society we live. Everyone is alwasy striving to be so bloody PC that they daren’t say anything for fear of offending. Can’t do this, can’t do that. Which is a load of bollocks really. I say shit, if people disagree with me then fine. Least I’ve said something.
Matt… let me start by letting you know that the “bloke” you refer to is a girl… ‘Christine’ tends to be a more feminine than masculine name fyi. And for anyone else reading this, I am the author of the post in which you are referring. And while I identify with being a liberal and truly support helping people in need in other countries, your post (and comment on http://www.chrisvschris.com) is the reason why Republicans think liberals are whiney. I am so sick of people who are simply offended by everything… and so much so, that everyone else is supposed to stop and think before they say anything that might accidentally offend someone else. The truth is… anyone can be offended by anything. Some people are offended by the pledge of allegiance. Some people are offended by seeing other people pray in restaurants. Some people are offended by the word “chick” in reference to women. Some people are offended by women breast-feeding their babies in public. You can pick anything you want to be offended about. And if we all tip-toed around very carefully so that we would never say or do something that offends someone else, then we’d never say or do anything. So my answer to you… is that if you are offended because I’m ripping on the Tanzanians who abduct and skin kids and also ripping on the police there who aren’t charging them with murder even though the killers have already confessed, then I suggest you find something more substantial to be offended by.
btw- I don’t think your comment box is working because once I submitted, it said the comment looked like spam??? There might be a problem.
Christine… for starters, when I first read the post, I swear it said it was written by Chris, then I posted a comment, clicked refresh about 10 minutes later and then it said Christine. Anyway.
I’m actually perfectly aware and agreement with you that people nowadays are offended by absolutely everything. And that it’s shit because inevitably people feel like they can’t say what they feel, in case of offending someone. The irony of the situation, and something I tried to air in my own blog post, but with hindsight I don’t feel came across very well, is actually, that I don’t get offended by a lot. Well, more accurately, I don’t care enough to get offended by a lot. I’m way too bored with the system to really give a shit about what a lohot of people say. The point being, that to get offended by your post, shows I actually care. It actually shows a human side to people, which is something that is often lost in today’s culture. The “I’ll sue your ass” for the sake of suing mentality. The “someone is always to blame” thing.
What I’m badly trying to say is that a) I admire your no shit outspoken outlook, and I often chuckle at the way you or Chris make fun of whatever the subject of the day is. However, b) you have to expect for there to be some backlash, as people disagree with what you say. Because I do disagree. Tanzania is a beautiful country and worth visiting.
My regret is calling you a moron and being rude about you in the comment. That wasn’t my intention. Blah.
Matt… I don’t mind that you disagree with me… as a matter of fact, I find it refreshing that someone actually cares enough to write something besides “Cool post.” As a matter of fact, I hope that others will read our banter and then go to your site because they were interested enough in what we were saying that they want to see what your blog is about too. This is obviously an issue that hit home for you. Good… ocasionally Christopher or I do hit on one of those. At least we try because we really do like people to get all riled up. I don’t disagree that Tanzania is a beautiful country. I’ve never been there so I don’t know, but I’ll take your word for it.
In terms of the whole choking on a spoon scenario and not offending people… what you were saying in your post made me think that you subscribe to the whole over-hyped PC mentality that’s done more harm than good. Originally, being “PC” wasn’t a bad thing. It was sort of a gentle reminder that you should maybe think before you say something that might be insensitive. But it’s become so blown up that even if you do think, you still can’t say what you want because someone somewhere might be offended. And because of that, people now despise political correctness– something that began with good intentions. My take on this whole thing is that the owness of being offended or not is on the listener, not the speaker. I can choose to live my life being offended every time I hear the word “bitch” in a rap song, or every time some little high school boy refers to me as a “chick,” or whatever. I just don’t want to be offended when the speaker’s intent wasn’t to offend me. I like to try to really listen to the points and perspectives people have and not how they deliver them because I think we’d get a lot further in understanding each other if we all did that. Now in terms of making fun of someone who died from a spoon (I know you’re being extreme with your example) and offending someone who just happened to lose someone to a gruesome spoon death… is sort of debatable. Does the joke cause more pain than the loss of the person in and of itself? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. I’ll have to think more on that. I just think that people have control over what they want to be offended about or what comments they’ll let hurt them and when things aren’t intended to hurt you, but you allow them too, then you’re feeling all shitty for really no reason. I now realize what you were trying to say… and yes, I missed most of that when I read the original post from you. So now I think I get your point.