Courtesy of Popbitch:
Ben Affleck goes to the doctors and says,
“Doctor doctor, every time I look in the
mirror I get aroused.”The doctor replies, “I’m not surprised…
you’re a cunt.”
Smirk.
Q: What’s the difference between Arthur Scargill and Michael Jackson?
A: Scargill hasn’t seen a miner’s helmet for twenty years.
A cowboy arrives in Australia for the first time. He’s taken out into the bush by some locals, where he encounters a kangaroo. Somewhat intrigued, he just stares at it for a long time, saying nothing. Then, eventually, he turns to one of the locals and says
“Yeh guys, I’ll admit, your grasshoppers are bigger here…”.
:p